What It is Like to Live in a Group Home - The Good & Bad

group home Dec 09, 2025

The Good, The Bad, The Parts No One Explains

When people hear the phrase group home, their mind usually jumps to extremes.

A locked facility.
A hospital vibe.
A college dorm gone wrong.
A place where autonomy disappears.

That reaction makes sense. A lot of people asking about group homes are doing so because they are thinking about their future, not because they have already failed at living independently. They are trying to plan ahead, protect their parents, and protect themselves.

The truth is that group homes are not a single entity. Experiences vary widely, and the difference between a healthy, respectful residential care home and a damaging one comes down to philosophy, staffing, structure, and oversight.

This article provides an in-depth look at what adult group home living is actually like, based on real-life experiences shared by people, the fears they raise, and how quality residential care should function when done right.

First, Let’s Clear Up a Big Misconception

A group home is not supposed to be:

A prison
A mental institution
A nursing home
A place where adults are treated like children

Adult residential care exists to support adults who need some help, not to remove their adulthood. That said, many people have experienced environments that felt exactly like those worst fears. Their concerns are valid. So let’s talk honestly.

Can You Date, Have Relationships, or Get Married in a Group Home?

Yes. Full stop. If a program restricts consensual adult relationships, that is a red flag. Adults living in licensed residential care homes retain their civil rights.

That includes:

Dating
Romantic relationships
Marriage
Sexual autonomy, within reasonable house rules that protect safety and consent

Good homes focus on education and boundaries, not control. Poorly run homes blur the line between safety and power. That is where residents start feeling watched, managed, or judged instead of supported.

A well-run residential care home understands that relationships are part of life. The goal is guidance, not restriction.

Can You Work While Living in a Group Home?

Yes. Many residents do. In fact, employment is often encouraged when it fits the person’s abilities and health needs.

This can include:

Part-time or full-time jobs
Supported employment programs
Volunteer work
Educational programs or college courses

A strong program helps residents build routines around work, not replace work with dependency.

If a home discourages employment across the board, that usually signals a staffing or liability issue, not a resident issue.

Is There a Schedule, Or Is Everything Controlled?

This is where experiences start to split sharply.

All residential care homes have some structure. Structure is not the problem. Over-control is.

Healthy structure looks like:

Meal times that still allow choice
Medication support without punishment
Planned activities that are optional, not mandatory
Clear expectations that are explained, not enforced arbitrarily

Unhealthy structure looks like:

Asking permission for basic personal choices
No privacy, ever
Staff making personal decisions “for your own good” without consent
Residents being treated differently based on disability severity

When people describe feeling overwhelmed, watched, or powerless, it is usually because staff were trained to prioritize control over collaboration.

That is a staffing philosophy problem, not a requirement of residential care.

Can You Leave The House, Or Are You Stuck?

You are not supposed to be trapped.

Residents can:

Go out during the day
Visit family and friends
Attend appointments, jobs, and activities
Move out entirely if the placement no longer fits

Residential care is not a lifetime sentence. People do move on to more independent settings. Others stay long-term because it works for them. Both paths are valid.

If a program makes it hard to leave, discourages transition planning, or uses fear to keep residents, that is a serious issue.

Are Group Homes Only for Severe Disabilities?

No, but matching matters more than labels. Group homes often serve adults with a wide range of needs, including:

Intellectual disabilities
Developmental disabilities
Behavioral challenges
Co-occurring medical conditions
Mental health needs

Problems arise when people with very different needs are placed together without thoughtful planning.

This is one of the most common complaints from residents.

Moderately disabled adults feel overshadowed
Non-verbal residents receive more attention
Behavioral needs dominate the household environment
Sensory overwhelm becomes constant

A quality provider carefully considers compatibility, not just available beds.

Do Staff Do Everything For You?

They shouldn’t. The purpose of adult residential care is support, not replacement.

Support can include:

Medication reminders or administration
Help with cooking, cleaning, or budgeting
Transportation coordination
Emotional and behavioral support
Skill-building for daily living

It should never look like staff deciding when you get dressed, how you relax, or how you spend your money unless safety is truly at risk and agreed upon. When staff control becomes excessive, residents lose confidence, not gain it. That is how people get stuck instead of supported.

Why Some People Hate Group Homes And They’re Not Wrong

Some experiences shared by former residents and staff are deeply troubling.

Common issues include:

No real privacy
Staff sitting in bedrooms during emotional moments
Personal coping strategies being shut down
Inconsistent rules based on staff mood
Residents treated as problems instead of people

From a staff perspective, many of these actions come from fear, liability concerns, or poor training. From a resident perspective, it feels like losing control over your own life.

Both realities can exist at the same time. This is exactly why who runs the home matters.

Medical Conditions Add Another Layer of Risk

Adults with medical conditions like Type 1 diabetes often raise valid concerns.

Not all staff are properly trained. Not all agencies prioritize medical education.

A responsible residential care provider:

Trains staff thoroughly on medical conditions
Follows clear care plans
Communicates with families and professionals
Respects resident knowledge about their own bodies

If a provider minimizes medical concerns or brushes off questions, that is not a small issue.

Assisted Living, Supported Living, Or Group Home, What’s the Difference?

Many people asking about group homes are actually better suited for supported living or assisted housing.

Supported living often means:

Your own apartment or shared apartment
Scheduled support visits
High autonomy
Less staff presence

Group homes offer:

24-hour support
Shared living environments
More structure
On-site staff

Neither option is superior. The fit matters. Being placed in too restrictive an environment can be just as harmful as not having enough support.

Cost, Funding, And The Myth of “You Have to Pay Thousands”

Many families assume residential care is out of reach financially. In California, many adult residential care placements are coordinated through Regional Centers. Funding is often not out of pocket.

The process can be confusing and slow, but options exist.

A transparent provider will explain:

How funding works
What is covered
What is not
What support looks like long-term

If cost conversations feel evasive, that is another warning sign.

What Adult Residential Care Should Feel Like

When residential care is done well, residents describe:

Feeling safe, not watched
Feeling supported, not controlled
Feeling respected as adults
Feeling part of a home, not a system
Feeling prepared for life, not removed from it

The home blends into the neighborhood. Life looks like life. That is not accidental. It comes from intention.

How Center for Behavioral Change Approaches Adult Group Home Living

Center for Behavioral Change operates licensed, co-ed adult group homes for men and women with developmental disabilities, autism, mental health conditions, and behavioral challenges. Our homes provide 24-hour support in single-family residences located in quiet neighborhoods in Pomona and West Covina, California.

Care is structured but not institutional. Support is personalized based on each resident’s abilities, health needs, and personal goals. Residents are encouraged to build independence through life skills training, education, employment support, and community participation, rather than having decisions made for them.

Our approach emphasizes:

Community-based living in real neighborhoods
Individual choice and adult autonomy
Skill-building at each resident’s pace
Respectful behavioral and mental health support
Ongoing collaboration with California Regional Centers
A home environment, not a clinical or facility model

Residents are treated as adults first. Support exists to help people grow, participate, and live meaningful lives, not to limit independence or remove personal agency.

Questions You Should Ask Any Residential Care Provider

Before choosing a home, ask directly:

How do you support autonomy?
How do you handle privacy?
How are roommates matched?
What medical training does staff receive?
How do residents transition out if needs change?
How do you involve residents in decisions?

A good provider welcomes these questions. A bad one gets defensive.

One Honest Truth To End On

If you are asking these questions, thinking critically, and planning your future, that alone says something important.

Many people who struggle in group homes were never given real choice or explanation. They were placed, not partnered.

Residential care should never take your voice away. It should protect it while helping you build a life that feels like your own.

If you want to talk through options, ask hard questions, or just understand what adult residential care can look like when it is done with care and respect, a no-obligation conversation is often the best place to start.